Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s Secret Blog

Father of Confederation

Ever since that bra burning hippy, Elisabeth May, broke the news about how I had snuck into the Government Lobby late one night and replaced all of the old, outdated portraits of past Prime Ministers and replaced them with snap-shots of me, my life has been hellish.

And the saddest thing?

It’s scuttled my plans to hang my latest commissioned painting within the entrance on the Hill.

Looks like the only place I can share it now is here in my blog.

Let me know what you think.

I am Tender…

A recent article in the Toronto Star by Comrade Delacourt implied I was outright called me “aloof”, “rigid”… even “hostile”. Really!

If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? - William Shakespeare.

(Please Note: I’m not 100% certain about the tickling bit, but the revenge bit is spot on. Also Note: I apologize for the use of the word ‘prick’, but felt it was appropriate under the circumstances.)

I don’t know why this illusion of ‘moi’ as being aloof persists? The people who know me… those closest to me - my cabinet, my undersecretaries, my trusted advisors all assure me (when asked) that I am in fact… tender.

Here’s a photo of me with a kitten to prove it.

Me with Kitten

Kitten was my Press Secretary, Carolyn Stewart Olsen’s idea. She felt it would make me look softer around the edges. I do feel a little soft - queasy really, particularly when having to clean up her poop (Kitten’s, not Olsen’s). Brings back memories from my day’s at NCC, but that’s for another post.

Although I’ve never really considered myself an animal person, or even a human person before (note: that’s not exactly what I meant), I think I might get used to this little thing. As long as she keeps mostly to herself, and doesn’t make too much noise during cabinet meetings, I might just spare her.

What do you think? I would enjoy hearing your thoughts on Kitten.

Yours,

Stephen.